


Lies, Camera, Action

by mistermistyeyed



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Actor Bucky Barnes, Actor Steve Rogers, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Actors, Banter, Fluff, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-15 23:56:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7244008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistermistyeyed/pseuds/mistermistyeyed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers was psyched when he got the lead role in Hollywood's latest blockbuster, with Bucky Barnes as his costar. That is, he used to be psyched, until he realized that Bucky Barnes is a little shit that he absolutely hates.</p><p>Steve has no idea how they're going to film a movie without killing each other first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lies, Camera, Action

The first time his phone rang, Steve simply pulled his pillow over his head and rolled to the far side of his bed. However, the cotton was _far_ from soundproof, and by the fifth time his phone rang, he smacked it off of his dresser and sent it skidding across the room until it hit the wall with a dull thud.

Steve sighed in relief, but it was cut off by the shrill ringtone going off yet again. He growled out in annoyance, cursing whoever created a song as maddening as "Crazy Frog" and planning to kill whoever changed it to his ringtone in the first place. Steve suspected it was Sam's payback for the time he replaced all of his CD's with Nickleback, but honestly, that was on April Fools Day, so it was totally justified and should be excused. This was just harsh.

Steve jumped out of bed and stormed over to where his phone had landed, grabbing it angrily and vaguely relieved to discover that the screen wasn't cracked, because wouldn't _that_ just be icing on the cake. He answered it without checking the caller ID, too annoyed to really care who was on the receiving end. This was the first weekend in a month that he was able to sleep in, dammit, and he had intended to enjoy it. "Do you know what time it is?" he hissed into the receiver.

Any guilt he may have felt at his scathing tone was washed away when he heard Tony Stark's sarcastic drawl answer him. "Why, Steven, that's no way to greet a friend. It just so happens to be 5:15am, since you were wondering. Geez, actors, such primadonnas."

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. "Tony, _you're also_ an actor."

"Yes, actor, self-proclaimed diva, _and_ your new costar."

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean, you auditioned for _Winter's Soldiers_ , right? 'Cause otherwise I'd have to tell the studio that their new lead doesn't even know what I'm talking about, and that would just be awkward."

"Wait, I got the part of Chris? How do you know that already? Actually, never mind, I don't want to know." Steve felt a smile spreading across his face, all previous annoyance forgotten. "Hold on, costar? You're playing Sebastian?"

"Oh Stevie, as much as I'd love to play your best buddy in the movie, I auditioned for the suave, charming villain, Robert. Won't take much acting though, since I'm _already_ suave and charming."

"And villainous?"

"Flattery will only get you so far, Shia. Don't you want to know who's playing Sebastian? I was planning on withholding that information and making you beg, but you don't seem to really care, and that's just ruining the fun."

Steve did really want to know who his costar was, but he'd be damned if he let Stark know that. "How many times do I have to tell you? The Shia Labeouf, Even Stevens nickname is way too obscure to make sense to anyone."

Tony gasped in mock surprise. "You dare underestimate the power of Shia Labeouf? I'll have you know that he is a world renowned actor. Even Stevens was an underappreciated masterpiece, Stanley."

"Stanley? Is that a Holes reference? You're kidding, right?"

"You know, for a man who claims Shia Labeouf's filmography is too obscure, you do know a lot about his cinematic endeavors." Tony paused, and then blurted out, "Bucky Barnes."

"I obviously don't know a lot about his cinematic endeavors, since I have no idea what 'Bucky Barnes' is a reference to."

"What? I really hope you're still half asleep, 'cause this is just embarrassing. Bucky Barnes isn't a Shia Labeouf reference, he's the guy playing Sebastian."

Steve wracked his brain, but he was pretty sure he wouldn't have forgotten a name like Bucky. "Who is that?"

"Okay, this has progressed from embarrassing to just plain sad. You don't know who Bucky Barnes is? King of indie movies, basically the poster child of the Sundance Film Festival? Leader of hipster movie snobs across the country? Well, actually, he'll probably lose some of that following, considering he just sold out."

"This is his first major studio movie?"

"Yeah, but that's no excuse to not know him, my young grasshopper. I thought you would be doing your homework on all aspects of the movie industry, the Boy Scout you are. Anyway, enjoy leading him onto the scene of nosy paparazzi and awkward morning shows. I've gotta go be the amazing person that the world knows and loves."

Tony hung up before Steve had a chance to answer, but at that point, basically nothing could sour his mood. He had really been hoping for this role, and even Tony's sarcasm and the early hour couldn't knock him off cloud nine.

* * *

 

If anyone asked, Steve would totally deny stalking Bucky Barnes online in lieu of going back to sleep. He was too hyped up on excitement to fall asleep, so he pulled out his laptop and did some research.

First conclusion: Bucky was hot. Steve told himself that it was just an objective statement of fact, a casual observation. Whatever the case, Steve found himself scrolling through Bucky's IMDb and thankful for whoever told him to grow his hair out.

He was about halfway through one of Bucky's short films that someone had uploaded to YouTube. The movie wasn't even in English, and Steve guessed the language must be Romanian, recalling the trivia on Barnes' IMDb saying that he was fluent. Steve had no idea what was going on, but he was a lot less invested in the plot and a lot more invested in the way Bucky had gathered his hair into a bun in most of the scenes.

Suddenly, his front door flew open. Steve slammed his laptop shut and jumped up from the couch in surprise, almost sending the laptop flying from his lap to the floor. He spun around and saw Natasha stalk into the room, followed by a much calmer Sam.

She marched up to him and jabbed him in the chest with her finger. "You get the role that you've been talking about nonstop for weeks, and we have to find out on some news site?"

Steve winced. "Sorry, Stark just told me, like," he glanced at the clock, "three hours ago. My agent hasn't even called me yet. I guess Tony must've leaked the casting to the media, since his favorite pastime is rule breaking."

Natasha gave him a hard look, and Steve fully expected her to lecture him. Natasha, being anything but predictable, did the exact opposite and wrapped him in a hug. "Congratulations on the role, you dork," she muttered.

Steve smiled, returning the rare display of affection. "Thanks, Nat."

"My turn," Sam declared, marching over to Steve and shoving Natasha aside gently. He gave him the most over-exaggerated hug in human history. When Sam pulled back, he clapped Steve on the shoulder. "In all seriousness, congrats, dude."

"Thanks, guys. This is the first time in awhile that I've genuinely _liked_ the movie I'm working on."

"What, you didn't like your last movie? I think the shade of red you had to dye your hair really brought out your eyes," Sam said with a poorly hidden smirk.

Steve grabbed a pillow from his couch and threw it at his head.

* * *

 

A week later, the cast had to go in for screen tests. Tony had insisted on car pooling, and Steve figured it was a lot easier to agree than try to argue. At first, Stark had insisted on taking a limo, but Steve's one condition was that Tony would just drive them himself. Tony had played obnoxious pop songs the whole car ride in retaliation.

Tony pulled into the studio parking lot, squeezing into a spot that was way too small for his SUV. Steve slid out of the car, careful not to ding the car next to them. When he saw the type of car it was, he frowned. It was a big, classic car.

Tony turned and saw his expression, smiling and clapping his hands together in anticipation. "Oh, I know that look. Are we going to get a Captain Planet rant? Please?"

Steve rolled his eyes. "It's just ridiculous that people still drive these cars. These days, we know how much extra gas they use and CO2 they emit. I just hate when people care more about how a car looks than its effect on the environment."

"I just hate when people assume they know everything. This is a vintage car with a modern engine. Fuel-efficient, and it still looks badass."

Steve spun around at the sudden voice behind him and saw Bucky Barnes strolling up, opening the classic car's trunk and grabbing a backpack. He was wearing a beat up leather jacket and jeans. His hair was cut short, and Steve frowned. Sure, the long hair wouldn't have matched the FBI agent he was playing, but still. Bummer.

At Steve's silence, Bucky raised his eyebrows challengingly.

"It was a valid assumption. Most people are ignorant when it comes to CO2 emissions," Steve defended himself.

"Well, I'm not most people." Bucky glanced at the car that Steve and Tony were still getting their things from and rolled his eyes. "Dude, did you seriously just go on a rant about air pollution while driving an _SUV_?" He slung the backpack over his shoulder and walked away, shaking his head.

Tony laughed. "Oh man, you got _burned_. By a _hipster._ A _hipster burn._ That's the worst kind of burn."

Steve shook his head. "Tony, I've lectured you about this SUV about a hundred times."

"Your costar doesn't like you," Tony sang like a taunting five year old.

" _Your_ costar doesn't like _you_."

Tony tilted his head. "Hm, I disagree. Barnes and I will be great friends, I can feel it. We share common interests, such as making fun of you."

"I was talking about me. I don't like you."

"Ouch, I got burned. Not as bad as a _hipster burn,_ though."

* * *

 

Steve didn't see Bucky again until it was time for their screen test. He had gone to his dressing room and looked over the scene they were going to be running. It was an easy scene, light and not too emotional. Steve wasn't worried about it, but he felt bad about the dismal first meeting with Bucky.

When the crew was ready to run their scene, Steve walked out of his dressing room with a positive attitude, ready to start fresh. He walked over to where Bucky was already waiting on set, leaned against their prop car.

He put a friendly smile on his face. "Hey, I think we got off on the wrong foot. Let's just start over. I'm Steve."

Bucky looked at Steve with cold resignation. "Listen, let's not pretend, alright? We only have to talk if it's during a scene. It'll be less agonizing for the both of us."

Steve furrowed his brow. "Uh, what? I'm sorry if I offended you with the whole car thing, it wasn't personal."

Bucky rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "Cut the shit."

Before Steve could reply, the director called action. With that, Bucky's whole demeanor easily changed from defensive to friendly. Steve tried to relax, since their characters were best friends, but he could feel annoyance building. He had tried to be open and was met with automatic hatred, and that stung more than he'd like to admit.

"What happens know?" Bucky asked, looking around the set suspiciously.

Steve shrugged. "How would I know, Seb? It'll be impossible to get the FBI away from the president."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Says the guy who single-handedly prevented a terrorist attack. You've never thought anything was impossible, and now is not the time to give up, considering, y'know, the FBI is coming after us as we speak."

"Cut!" the director called halfway through the scene. "Jesus, I know this is just a screen test, but can you guys try _not_ looking like you want to kill each other? Your characters have only each other to trust after they discover the FBI is corrupt. Save the hatred for Tony, yeah?"

They ended up running the scene two more times, neither attempt turning out any better than their first try. The director, Fury, huffed in annoyance. "Barnes! Rogers! Get your asses over here!"

The two slunk over, avoiding each others' gaze and glaring at nothing. "Alright," Fury started, anger clear in his sharp tone. "I don't know what the hell that was, but you guys need to get your shit together. You have an interview together on Friday, and it's supposed to make my life easier, not harder."

Their heads snapped up at the mention of an interview. "What? Why?" Steve asked.

"With the media cast leak, I've been getting calls from those vultures nonstop. I'm throwing them a bone to get them off my back. They want an interview with you two? Fine. But you better not make me look bad."

Fury stalked away, allowing no further argument. Steve turned towards Bucky, but the other had already walked away, hands shoved in his pockets and shoulders hunched.

Steve ran a hand through his hair, cursing Tony for the leak and wishing Bucky and his shitty attitude had stuck with indie movies.

* * *

 

The next time Steve saw Bucky was on the set of _Wake Up, World_ that Friday. He was wearing a gray sweater with a light blue scarf around his neck, hair gelled in that perfectly messy style. Steve might have even thought he looked good, if it wasn't for the fact that Bucky gave him a scathing glare the second he laid eyes on him.

"Geez, that's Bucky?" Sam asked. "What the hell is his problem?"

Steve shrugged. "I have no clue. I mean, I insulted his car, but I don't think that warrants this level of hatred."

Sam snorted. "He obviously has horrible judgement. You're, like, the best person who has ever existed. Actually, Gandhi is probably number one, but trust me, you're a close second."

Steve smiled. "Thanks, Sam."

The two walked over to makeup and hair. Stylists fussed over Steve until he was deemed worthy of television, while Sam flipped through a magazine and judged all of the celebrities the articles covered.

"Wait, Tony installed a pool on the tower's _roof_? Why I am learning about this in a magazine?" Sam whipped out his phone, typing out what Steve assumed to be a very angry text to Stark.

The door flung open. Bucky and some blond guy entered the stylists' room, Bucky taking his seat in front of the wide expanse of mirrors while his friend paced around him, seemingly caught up in a rant.

"Can you believe she said that? To _me_?"

"Well, Clint, considering the fact that she's your boss, I think it's understandable that she gave you feedback on your job performance," Bucky replied, sounding exasperated.

"I mean, I understand it's not traditional, but it's effective," Clint went on, seemingly ignoring Bucky's input.

Sam glared at Bucky before discreetly ripping a page out of his magazine. He crushed it into a ball and chucked it at Bucky, hitting him right in the back of the head. Bucky looked down at the fallen projectile and then directly at Sam, who smirked cheekily and held his magazine up over his face.

"Okay, as if _that's_ professional," Clint said sarcastically. "Buck, is this movie a remake of Kindergarten Cop? 'Cause I think you're working with five year olds."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Please, as if _you've_ been professional."

Bucky raised his eyebrows. "Your opinion is literally worthless."

Steve bristled. "Oh, and why is that? What puts you on some moral high horse?"

Bucky opened his mouth to answer, but at that moment, the stage manager entered the room. "Alright, guys, we're on air in five. We need to get on set and be ready for broadcast."

Steve and Bucky exchanged one last glare before following the stage manager. They stepped on the set and were greeted with a roar of applause from the studio audience, which caused Steve's annoyance to fade slightly and a genuine smile to cross his face as he waved at the fans.

The pair took their seats on the couch, shaking the interviewer's hand. Steve did his best to not look extremely pissed off, which was a pretty big feat. The cameraman gave the signal that they were on air, and the interviewer opened with the usual questions. Steve relaxed, glad that the interview wasn't going to be insufferable.

"So," she asked, "Did you guys know each other before the movie?"

Bucky answered before Steve got the chance to open his mouth. "Well, Steve was a huge fan of mine. The first time we met was actually pretty hilarious. Steve, do you want to tell the story?"

Steve recognized that Bucky was trying to put him on the spot. Game on. "Sure, _Buck_. What happened was, I parked at the studio for our screen tests, and then he just slammed into my car with his."

"No, that's not-"

"Yup, he is a horrible driver. I mean, I wasn't even _moving_ and he managed to hit my car."

"Well, you see-"

"He actually hit it twice. He backed up and managed to hit it _again._ I didn't even think that was humanly possible, but you know Bucky, always doing the impossible. Classic Bucky." Steve turned and gave Bucky an endearing smile, which was pretty convincing considering he's an actor.

Bucky realized he couldn't outright contradict Steve, so he gave him a fake smile that was only slightly strained. "You know me, always hittin' cars. Stevie here, though, has some quirks too. Before every scene, he has to belt out some show tunes. Gets him into the right mindset, somehow."

The interviewer furrowed her brow thoughtfully. "That's an interesting method. Would you care to explain that further, Steve?"

Steve grit his teeth. "Uh, not much to explain. If you think about it, it makes absolutely no sense." He shot a glance at Bucky. "But, y'know, it works somehow."

"Is he good at singing?" the interviewer asked, turning to Bucky.

"Oh, he's amazing. In fact, don't take my word for it. Steve, why don't you sing us something?"

Thankfully, the time for their segment ran out before Steve had to respond to that request, and they said their goodbyes before the interviewer gave the reins to the weatherman. As soon as the cameras were off, Steve jumped up from the couch and stalked off set, Bucky close at his heels.

"What the hell was that?" Bucky growled.

"You're asking _me_? You're the one who tried to make me sing on the spot on live TV!"

"Only after you made me look like an idiot!"

"Trust me, you looked like an idiot far before I said you were a shitty driver."

A tech guy ran up, waving his arms frantically. He was quickly ignored.

"Nice one. Do people know what an asshole you are?"

" _Me?_ You've been an asshole for no reason. I'm just returning the favor."

"I have a pretty obvious _reason_ -"

"Your mics are still live! Let me switch them off!" the tech guy shouted, gaining their attention.

Steve and Bucky both froze. Now that they had finally stopped stomping down the hallway, the techie quickly stepped forward and clicked off their mic packs. "Maybe next time you won't _run off my set_ before I have a chance to do that, yeah?" He turned and walked back towards set, leaving Steve and Bucky in the most awkward silence in history.

"It's your fault," Bucky said after a few tense moments.

" _Shut up_."

* * *

 

"Guys, what the actual fuck. I wake up Friday morning to find out that you two went viral. After someone told me what going viral even means, I watched a YouTube video of you two that had five million views. Tell me, how do you think it looks when there's a video of your two lead actors calling each other assholes over the fucking speaker system?"

Steve opened his mouth to answer, but Fury raised a hand to silence him. "I don't want to hear it, Rogers. My movie has a shitload of bad press and we haven't even shot a single scene. The Onion is now calling the movie _Winter's Skirmish_. They're taking a poll on who will punch the other first. Bucky, I think you're winning," he spat with a humorless smile.

Bucky shoved his hands into his pockets and looked away.

"I should fire you two. Matter of fact, I did."

Both of their heads snapped up. "What?" Bucky asked.

"That's right, Barnes. I called your agents and told them you were out. It involved about an hour of begging and proposed solutions. I have to admit, for a couple of morons, you guys hired some pretty tenacious agents."

"So why're we here? For you to gloat?" Steve asked, frowning.

Fury gave him a predatory smile. "Don't rush my big reveal. Eventually, your agents and I did reach an agreement to save your employment. Don't look so relieved, Barnes, I haven't even told you the condition."

"What's the condition?" Bucky prodded.

"You two assholes have to move in together until the movie's shooting is over. They said it was to 'promote cooperation' or some shit but I don't really care. When it comes down to it, firing you will probably only bring _more_ bad press. Plus, this is a way bigger punishment than firing you was. I hope you idiots are miserable." Fury turned and began walking away. "By the way, I voted for Steve on The Onion's poll. Make me proud," he called over his shoulder.

Steve took a few moments to actually process Fury's words. He had already been dreading having to see Bucky on set, but having to live with him? That made him question if the job was even worth it. Of course, Steve _knew_ it was worth it, considering how much he loved the movie, but still. A condition like that made him second-guess it.

The two stood in silence for what felt like an eternity, wrapping their heads around all that this decision would entail. Not only spending their work days together, but also going home together.

"This is going to suck," Bucky muttered.

Steve figured this was the one time he and Bucky would ever agree on something.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, any feedback is greatly appreciated !!


End file.
